There has been a season of bickering in my marriage… a season of stress from a move, of unmet (unwarranted) expectations, and ungratefulness…a season of jealousy… where I envied my husbands freedom and overlooked all of the things he does for me, for our family.
I was in a group of women a few years ago who studied the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggrichs. At the time it was a wonderful and enlightening, marriage improvement book… but I tossed that knowledge aside in the deconstruction of my faith.
A few nights ago I was looking through the kindle books I had not yet read and came across Have a New Husband By Friday by Kevin Leman… In my unhappy marital desperation I clicked on the book… I barely started the first chapter when it I had a light bulb moment! Respect… something I was seriously failing at.
Now however respect means something different to me… It means noticing the good… encouraging Craig… and clearly stating the things I need from our relationship instead of expecting him to be a mind-reader.
Respect does not mean bowing to Craig’s every decision… asking permission before I make minor decisions… It means I have a voice to use wisely and with love.
So not everything I have been taught about marriage was wrong… It just needed the right interpretation.
**Note** I don’t agree with everything that the books in this post have to say… and I only read part of the first chapter of Have a New Husband by Friday and probably won’t read the rest.