I’m a Good Mom… And So Are You

There I am newly minted mom,
 believing I was wise beyond my 23
years on the planet.
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I started out as Babywise mom, I don’t know if it was Gary Ezzo’s advice on scheduling a baby’s feeding and sleeping that made me feel like I knew 
what I was doing as a first time mom, or my own self inflated ego, but I was a know it all. I could tell you just exactly how to solve your child raising issues, because of course all babies are the same and all toddler behavior is completely manageable. If I wasn’t telling you how to parent to your face… I was probably telling someone else behind your back. I was wrong.

When baby number 2 came along I was still semi clinging to the Ezzo method, but I had also adopted a whatever works attitude. That baby slept in her swing for months, even though the book warned that she would never learn to fall asleep on her own if we did that. She did.

Fast forward five and a half years from the first baby’s arrival. Baby number 3 is born into the Scott family and I have tossed Babywise out the window. I have become a co-sleeping, baby wearing, feeding on demand mama. By the time that child became a two year old I had no certainties about how to navigate this mommy gig and resorted to chocolate and lattes to get me through the day and wine and snacks to unwind once my offspring were tucked in and drifting off to dream land. (Actually who am I kidding? I cracked that bottle as soon as Craig came through the door, home from work to be the responsible adult).

Each of my little ones had a different mama, and even though I wouldn’t go back to or recommend some of those past parenting styles, I would say in every phase I was a good mom. In fact I am pretty sure that any mother practicing these or a number of other of parenting strategies that include love, caring and meeting their children’s needs are good moms.

Brene` Brown in her book Daring Greatly writes “You can’t claim to care about children if you’re shaming other parents for the choices they are making.”

Can I get an amen?!

 As a mom when I feel shamed and judged I am way less likely to be in prime nurturing mode with my children or my husband. Shame makes us more prone to isolation, which leads to feelings of inadequacy, bitterness and anger. Not a great place to be when your job is love and kindness.

Don’t do that to somebody’s kid. Chances are that unless you are witnessing abuse, that thing that other mom is doing, that you of course would never do, is probably not a make or break choice in their child’s life.  You think your friend’s kids watch too much T.V. Get over it. That other mom at the park who is feeding her preschooler a fast food lunch and is making you cringe at the unhealthiness of her choice. Get over it. I homeschool. Get over it. We don’t do team sports. Get over it. We’re all doing something that some other mom doesn’t agree with. Get over it.

In a stage of our lives when we already worry about whether or not we are screwing up our kids we certainly don’t need jack ass opinions about the decisions that go into our child raising efforts. A friendly word of encouragement or a compassionate ear can go a long way in making another parent’s child raising load seem lighter. When we feel like we are doing a good job the little things that can be blown out of proportion are better able to stay in their box of “it’s not a big deal.” and we can focus on the things that actually matter.

There’s no use crying over spilled coffee right?

If you haven’t already head over and enter The Hunt for a New Name contest.

Posted in Brene Brown, Community, Loving Myself, Loving Others, Mothering | 13 Comments

Thankful Thursday #29

Welcome to Thankful Thursday!  Feel free to grab a button and link up your own Thankful Thursday list below.

Goats Milk Lattes

Goats Milk Lattes

This week I am thankful for:

Hudson plays so well with Delaney.

Big brothers who push little sisters on the swingHonestly I swear I sent that kid outside with a coat on… how she can play outside in that outfit and not freeze is a miracle.

Good friends who offer to babysit… So… If you hang out here quite a bit it may sound like we pawn our children off a little too often… Trust me we are a homeschool family… I am with my children far more than I am without them.  That being said, thank you Rob for taking on our trio of cutie pies so Craig and I could go see Two Pianos Four Hands on Saturday afternoon.

Oh the difference a little light can make.

Photo Walks… This week I have been heading out, often with little photographers in tow… to see my everyday neighborhood through fresh photography eyes.  The result is that  I have some delightful and fun photos of ordinary things.

What are you thankful for this week?

If you haven’t already head over and enter The Hunt for a New Name contest.

Posted in big brothers, Friends, Photography, Thankful Thursday | Leave a comment

I Have a Confession…

Me looking foxy…

Dear Readers, 
I feel like I have a confession to make.  I write here about being real and authentic and yet I have been afraid to tell you something. *insert deep breath here.*

I wrote a post in back in July titled I’m Not Skinny Any More.  Here are a few of my words from then:

“… I’m much more pear shaped than I was then… but I’m also much more sure… sure that my worth is not wrapped up in my weight… sure that my friends are my friends because they think I’m kind and we have common interests… not because of the way my jeans fit… sure that my husband loves my body whether it’s a size 2 or a size 20. I’m not skinny anymore… and I’m OK with that.”  

Those words are still true, but I feel like I’ve left a part out.  In September I took a good look at my eating habits, you would be hard pressed to find a nutritious food plan that included 4 lattes a day and eating 2 dinners most nights.  I took a look at my lack of exercise routine, which is still somewhat lacking and will hopefully become a work in progress soon.  I took a look at my body and realized that I am OK with not being skinny, but I am not OK with being unhealthy.  

Using mostly smaller portions  and better food choices I have shed and kept off  25lbs since then  I’m happy with this weight.  I’m still not skinny, but my clothes fit better and I rarely have that stuffed to the rafters, Thanksgiving every day, feeling that is rather agonizing. 

I am in no way prescribing any sort of diet for anyone else.  I am not claiming that weight loss is an easy fix for anything except buttoning your jeans faster.  

My goal was never to be a size 2 again, and I’m not. I’m completely OK with that. 

I hope we can still be bloggy buddies.

If you haven’t already head over and enter The Hunt for a New Name contest.

Posted in body image, health, Loving Myself, weight loss | 1 Comment

Introducing Simple on Purpose

Over the past few months I have been searching. Searching for ways to sculpt my life into something meaningful.  I want to say yes to the opportunities that line up with my life’s purpose. Say no, with out regret, to the things that don’t, and create deep relationships and fantastic memories along the way.

A big part of being able to live with more intention is to simplify.

Which is why I am super excited to be teaming up with the totally funny and completely fabulous Shawna over at Dovetail Blog to share some (or maybe all) of the ways we are living Simple on Purpose.

Now don’t think we’re being bossy and telling you how to run your life… That’s not what we’re about. We’re about sharing stories and experiences and some tidbits that have worked for us. (If you’re lucky we’ll include some failures just so you don’t start to think we’re doing this simple living thing perfectly).

I’ll be posting over here about books that have inspired my journey, practices we’ve adopted for keeping clutter at bay, ways I keep white space in my schedule, sharing my life mission statement and more…

So join Shawna and I on our journey to clear away the chaos (well you know not all of the the chaos,  we’ll hold on to the chaos we gave birth to and named), breath deep and invite freedom in to our day to day intentional lives.  Keeping things simple on purpose.

Posted in Community, declutter, Minimalism, Minimalist, Simple on Purpose | 2 Comments

Book Bargain News Flash!

I have been wanting to read 50 Women Every Christian Should Know by Michelle DeRusha every since I heard about it on a podcast by Tsh over at The Art of Simple called My Favorite Woman Yet.

I can not wait to dive in (since I suppose cracking a Kindle book would be a really bad idea).  I am so excited to read the stories of women who are over comers, great leaders, and did courageous things with big impact.  I promise to come back and tell you which story is my favorite when I’m done.

And I hope you’ll tell me your favorite story from  50 Women Every Christian Should Know as well because until until March 7 the kindle version is only $1.99! (<——— click that link to get it)

If you haven’t already head over and enter The Hunt for a New Name contest.
This post contains affiliate links.  Items purchased through these links or by clicking the Amazon ad in my side bar provides a monetary income for this blog.

Posted in books, Church, kindle, sale, women | Leave a comment

What I’m Looking Forward to In March

I am finding great joy in the anticipation of things to come in March… both the planned and the unplanned… Here are a few things I am looking forward to:


The weather has been unseasonably warm around here and since we planted about 150 bulbs on the hill in our yard I am hoping to see some tulips poking their little heads up shortly… perhaps by the end of March. 

Everyday Magic.

Everyday Magic is an online photography course put on by Tammy over at Rowdy Kittens .  Her statement of “I believe you can take gorgeous photos with the camera you already own.” is what sold me on this e-course and I can’t wait to get started. 

My friend Anita’s birthday. 

It’s so good to celebrate the people we love.

The possibility of park days and more outdoor play.

I believe that the 2 best places to have adventures are in a book that you have lost yourself in or outside.  My children are happier when they are outside.  They are more creative and have better attitudes as well.  
Oh yes March!  I am ready for you!
What are you looking forward to in March?

If you haven’t already head over and enter The Hunt for a New Name contest.

Posted in Flowers, March, Photography, Spring | Leave a comment

The Hunt for a New Name (Contest)

Here’s the deal… when I started this blog it was a tool to wrestle with my deconstructed faith and really it still is… it’ a place to reconstruct what it means to love others, chronicle growth and healing, and share the things we are thankful for.  The purpose remains the same, but the name no longer fits.

In 2012 I totally could have whipped you up a delicious creamy latte made from fresh goats milk.  These days not so much… I still have a goat… and I love her very much…but alas milking is a thing of the past for us.
Plus I’m finding that there is a bit of a stigma surrounding goats milk and it seems the name Goat’s Milk Lattes is not the inviting title I thought it might be.

Here’s my plan… I’m asking you dear readers to help me rename this blog.  I will be choosing a name based on it’s perceived longevity, cleverness and creativity are also good qualities and please nothing vulgar.

Of course what is a contest without prizes?  The winner will receive a brown paper package (may or may not be tied up with strings) of a few of my favorite, non cluttery, things.

Here’s how to enter:
Leave me a comment with your new blog name idea(s) as well as your email address so I will be able to contact you if I choose your name.  Then share this post on your favorite social media site (there are share buttons below for this purpose) so others can join the fun.  The contest closes March 7 2015 at 4:00pm Pacific Time.

Posted in change, contest, new name, prizes | 6 Comments